"Am I Wrong" by Nico & Vinz Hits A Nerve

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBmEJZofz2s

That's just how I feel. Trying to reach the things that I can't see.  Am I wrong?
Walk your walk and don't look back, always do what you decide
Don't let them control your life, that's just how I feel
Fight for yours and don't let go, don't let them compare you, no
Don't worry, you're not alone, that's just how we feel

So many lines of these lyrics have a yearning feeling that I can somehow relate to. I feel trapped, suppressed and want to fly.  I feel like my wings are clipped.  I so want to find my place in this life and want to find my niche, and feel proud and secure.  I want to move forward, but feel held back.  By what? By others? By my own inner demons?  The economy?  I have to be brave and take a leap, take a chance for my soul to feel free and satiated.

If one thing I know, I'll fall but I'll grow

The rhythm and the melody of the song is smooth and has a sweet almost Jamaican tempo beat that soothes me like rocking in a breezy hammock. 

It's a pleasantly haunting song.

Take a listen to the link above.
Am I wrong?

When Life Tosses You Lemons, Sometimes You Need to Squeeze Them In Someone's Eyes! What?!

Ouch! Well, sometimes you get tired of making lemonade.  You know?  Sometimes it's okay to have a bad day.  It's okay not to suck it up, man up and deal with it.  Sometimes it is perfectly okay to get angry and let it out by making a silly "meme."  I am not really going to squeeze a lemon into someone's eyes, but man, there are times, when I am being tested where insanity reigns and I don't feel so nice.  Thus, see above.

The point here is: It is okay to feel angry.  Let it out somehow and someway.  You can't keep denying how you feel. You can't keep squashing it down. We all know the saying, "This too shall pass.  It could be worse.  Make the best of it."  That is all true, but sometimes we get pushed to our limit of tolerance of toxicity and it is not okay.  As long as you deal with your anger or frustration in a healthy and harmless way. 

Acknowledge it.

"Ahhhhhhhh. I'm angry.  Take that!"  Squeeze. Squeeze.  (In my mind...)

Go for a run, play a song, doodle or scribble hard in red and black and/or  create a Meme.  It actually made me laugh out loud.  I thought I was so clever.

Hey, well, I thought it was kind of funny.  See?  Anger diminished.

I'm not a mean person.  I promise! :)

Huh. Funny, I could go for a lemonade now.

Peace!

Fell in Love with a Painting

 I remember well when I received this print as a gift for one of my birthdays by my husband.  We used to love going out to Jamesport and picking through the antique shops, but particularly one I loved that was filled with vintage prints, paintings and furniture.  The back room was filled with beautiful paintings.  They weren't cheap, so I had to just look.  I always look in Antique shops for one to pull at my heart, my soul and wait for that "I have to have that." moment.

Sometimes, nothing.  Sometimes, there is that one painting that I keep staring at.  This was one of those paintings, well, print of one.  Everything about it pulled at me.  It struck a chord, a nerve in a very good way.  Oh, how I wanted it.  It wasn't cheap for some reason.  It was something like $250.  It was probably way over priced for a print after all, but the owner wasn't pleasant at all and wanted what she wanted.  So, my husband and I left, alas, empty handed.

Geesh.  I felt broken hearted.  It is weird with art how it can really draw out emotion both positive and negative.  Someone else's creation, even.  I don't even know who the artist is, where this picture takes place.  I have clues. One she is wearing wooden clogs, which you think is Dutch, but that is not where I imagine this setting. I picture that she is French, walking a rural path in the French Countryside with her wine, baguette, a canteen of water for herself and she is enjoying herself.  This is her moment of pleasure walking the dirt path, enjoying the colorful flowers along the way and soaking in the fresh country air.  This is her quiet time, her exercise, her fresh air, her "me" time and she is serenely smiling. I bet you she looks forward to this time of day and it is a sacred routine where she experiences pure joy.

That's what this picture does for me.  My husband got that, and he had secretly made payments to the antique lady to be able to bring this beauty home for me for my birthday.  It is one of my absolute favorite paintings/print hanging in my house.

Art is Magic.

 

Side Note: May is Mental Health Awareness Month  and Art can be such a valuable & enjoyable tool to aid in stress, depression, anxiety, fear, lessen pain & expression of pent up emotion.  Use crayons if you have to  and mindlessly color 

Tweet your art to #art4mentalhealth and Share with others while enjoying others art as well

You are not alone and that is a beautiful thing.

Two Thoughts Converging: Philomena and Mary of Magdala...HUH? Inquistive Minds like Mine, it happens!

Happy Easter!  I'll start there.  I am not by any means a Holy Roller, but am in fact someone trying to renew my faith, or rather have faith in my faith. Let me tell you that watching the movie, Philomena certainly did not help.  I was much like Martin, the reporter who became Philomena's staunchest advocate and wanted to knock that effing nun right out of her wheelchair!

Why?  Because she made a woman, a very young woman feel dirty, ashamed for having natural carnal desires with someone she was attracted to for over 50 years.  This movie, and it is based on a true story of which they liberally took artistic license for extra drama made young pregnant girls suffer to atone for their sins.  Philomena had a breach birth and the suffering was encouraged to atone for her situation. Her child was adopted without her permission and literally ripped her heart out for 50 years. My problem, and I have always said this about the Catholic Church and God forgive me, is that we should not suppress our very natural human sexual desires.  Nuns and Priests should be able to marry. They are not God; they may strive to be God-like, but they are human and should enjoy the pleasures that we humans were made to have.  Suppression only leads to trouble, frustration, anger, and sadly, abuse.  This movie did not help to restore my faith. 

I know it was just a movie, but it drove home the message of what is wrong with the Catholic Church.  The pain that Philomena felt and the overwhelming guilt caused by Nuns impressing upon her what a sinful dirty girl she was, well...it hurt me.  And look at the nun in this story.  She seemed filled with rage.  Why?  Rage and disgust that these young girls were so bad giving into their sexual needs?  Rage because she had to give it up?  I don't know....

This leads me to Mary Magdalene. Why?  Because it is Easter.  Because out of all the people Jesus appeared to, it is to Mary, his Mary.  It wasn't to his apostles, nor was it to his own mother, Mary, or father, Joseph.

Artist:	La Fosse Charles de
Location:	Hermitage Museum

It was to Mary Magdalene.  Now, while on earth Jesus was a man.  I, personally believe he felt like a man and Mary was more than a fan or follower.  Why do I think that?  Well, when he appears to Mary and she does not recognize him and thinks he is a gardener, Jesus says, "Mary."

"Mary."

Instantly, she recognizes him with him saying her name, as if it's the most intimate word.  He says, simply, "Mary."  I do think Jesus and Mary were intimate.  He chose her to appear to and says her name, her first name.

This kind of brings home the conversion of the movie Philomena, which clearly is a story about suppression of human needs and abuse of power.

I do think, the church, for whatever reason doesn't want to acknowledge that Jesus, for a moment in time, was a man and had a girlfriend or possibly a wife and for whatever reason, we gloss over this.  We acknowledge that Jesus rises from the dead and appears to her, but why don't we say more?  Why isn't there a Rosary for her?  Why don't we know more about her?  Abuse of power in the early church, I guess.  Certain people didn't like the story, so they took artistic license to change it they way they want it to be.

Thus, suppression of sex for nuns and priests.

All I know is, I want to learn more of the special lady that Jesus was closest to, and I have to give kudos to the priest today in mass who pointed out how fascinating she is.  It was like listening to the history channel.  He mentioned that in the first Christian Church that borders Syria and Iraq, there is a fresco of Mary Magdalene holding the torch to the cave where Jesus was buried....in the first Christian Church.  Along the way, we lost her importance and I want to understand why.

 

Interesting paragraph about Mary Magdalene that sums up her complexity and importance.

From The Smithsonian Magazine, Smithsonian.com by James Carroll - June 2006
" In one age after another her image was reinvented, from prostitute to sibyl to mystic to celibate nun to passive helpmeet to feminist icon to the matriarch of divinity’s secret dynasty. How the past is remembered, how sexual desire is domesticated, how men and women negotiate their separate impulses; how power inevitably seeks sanctification, how tradition becomes authoritative, how revolutions are co-opted; how fallibility is reckoned with, and how sweet devotion can be made to serve violent domination—all these cultural questions helped shape the story of the woman who befriended Jesus of Nazareth."


Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/who-was-mary-magdalene-119565482/#XiclI9kt85yvo49F.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

The Pink Bag --Dior Ads keep coming! Pencil and Watercolor

I have been really cranking at my art.  Fashion Ads have been my inspiration of late.  Well, it kind of makes sense as I am an alum of Fashion Institute of Technology (Marketing) and was taught to look at the big ads in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and W Magazine to get a sense of what's hot.  The last two weeks nothing really struck me.  The Michelle Williams Red Louis Vitton Bag ad was so perfect that nothing compared. 

There have been other dynamic and striking ads from Chanel with those crazy sock shoes, which I kind of love!

But this ad, with Jennifer Lawrence with a balletslipper pink bag that brings out the pink in her skin caught my attention.  It's the opposite of the Red Bag. Softness and light, but intense.  Vulnerability  in her near nakedness, yet fierceness in her short spiky hair and her near nakedness make it a softly bold statement.

Having fun with art.  It's been a stress reliever of late.  You can't suppress emotions; they need to come out. Out they come with art!

Gravity was a big Lead Balloon!

Jet packing around like Jimmy Neutron, spinning and tumbling and latching onto Space Station bars and handles like it's Monkey Bars on a playground made the whole movie seem  so, well, ridiculous. Sandra Bullock's character should have barfed, blacked out, and totally freak out ten times over.  George Clooney's character was just that, a character who told stories and was there solely to keep Sandra calm until he gives up and drifts away in space way too early in the movie. 

He let's go.  I kept wondering, where is the story? When is the story going to kick in?  When is this going to stop feeling like the most improbable situation ever?  She is going to jump in one pod and jet over to another space station, damaged by more space junk.  No problem.  It's like hopping in a car and driving to one exit to the next. I am sorry. But this movie was so stupid.

I didn't buy into it for one second.  I'm stunned that it won any awards.

Uch.  So disappointed. 

Next choice, Philomena.  I really wanted to see this movie, but family voted for Gravity.

Philomena tonight. I love Judi Dench, and have a feeling I'll be a Steve Coogan fan soon enough.

Innocence of Ballet Lesson Been on an Art Rant...spewing out creations

Inspired by the Russian Sochi Olympics and seeing the gorgeous Bolshoi Ballet clips inspired my little abstract painting, I'm calling Ballet Beauties.

 It needs work, and perspective is way off, but the mood is dark and light.  Dark wood, dark historic building contrasting with lightness and imperfections of youth and light streaming in from the windows as evening falls. 

I remember taking ballet classes and they were in the evenings.  I would walk there as it was taught by a former Rockette who lived on street away and two houses down from my friend's house.  It was always evening, light enough for me to walk there safely, but as the lesson progressed, night fell giving the ballet lesson an odd eery feeling.  The dance room was bright with one wall completely mirrored so we can see our young pre-pubescent bodies attempting to imitate the teacher.  I had flat feet and had no business learning ballet, no arch is a big no-no in ballet.  The teacher was tall, hair in a yellow tinged bun, penciled eye brows, painted pink lips, smelling of cigarette smoke.  She was a mysterious character and never got personal in conversation.  It was half ballet and half tap dancing.  I, of course, loved the tap dancing but it was way harder than I thought it would be. I would get upset with my self when my left foot couldn't do the double slap like my right foot could.  Huh.
Memories of pre-teen years.
It was kind of cool, thrilling, creepy and fun to take ballet and tap lessons from a former Rockette and going home in the dark after.