Bittersweet 16 Girl

This painting started with a full page ad in the NY Times that featured this tall sleek haired blonde in a gorgeous lacy pink dress that I thought could draw and then paint.  I just couldn't get the skirt to flow, or the face and hair...nothing was turning out as I intended.  Then I used an ink pen and tried to fix it or add to it.  I added some pink to it...and then, walked away from it.  The girl in my drawing peeked out at me looking very goth and dark.  This is so not what I do, not what I paint. I paint pretty Regency Clad ladies who are caught in a time period that they have very little control, or voice but looked beautiful in the process with inner strength shining through.  Meanwhile, I attacked the painting again, tired of striving for perfection and  rolled with the more abstract edigier look and went with it.  Thus, far from my original NY Times ad inspiration became "Bittersweet 16 Girl."  I submitted this to HitRECord as an image for collaboration. 

It illicits the question, "What's the story?"  That, is what I often strive for...but the story is in the eyes of the beholder.  Each person that looks at this could come up with a different story and it will be perfect.  So, readers, "What is the Story?"

Something bittersweet.....I bet.

Winter Blues and Art

I am feeling a little low these daysperhaps due to the fact that i'm highly sensitive to world events, govermental drag, financial endless pinch, wackiness to the enth degree at work, guns guns guns....ugh...and the cold gray days of winter.
Plus, there is always that pervasive feeling that I should be doing something else with my life.  Like as if I took a wrong turn and now I am good and lost.  Even worse, I feel like I stumbled into a dark pit and can't get out.  It sucks and does not feel good at all.
I sketched a picture called  "Winter Blues" as perhaps that is all it is...but deep down, I know it's more.  I am on a soul search quest to discover my true life's purpose.
When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Cool Thing! Joined HitRECord today.

http://www.hitrecord.org/

I stumbled on this interesting artist collabortion production company through Twitter.  Yeah.  Surprise. Surprise. I tweet.  Never thought it would happen, but I'm glad I did.  It is amazing how connected to more of the world you are through Twitter.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt must have been following someone that I follow, so I decided to follow him.  I think he is an amazing actor, but didn't have a clue what else this guy did/does!  Director, actor...hosting the Sundance Film Festival this year...creative genius, really.

Anyway, I discovered his production company HitRECord which really is a medium for artists to create, and then re-create and re-create some more.  Submissions of writing, images, music, film become "records" for which other artists can tap into and RE-mix it with something else.  Not all too sure how the Re-mixing works but I am going to start myself with some submissions of Records...10minute writing challenge and some images that I'll draw or paint that will no doubt leave the question..."What's the story here?"

That's what I've always loved about art...the provacativeness that teases, and taunts making you wonder...What is that person thinking in the image..what was the artist thinking...the beauty is the answer is anything and everything. 

This should be interesting...so here I go!

Check out the link above.  (If you figure out the Re-mixing part, please let me know!)

Hey Congress, We The People...Remember Us???

Oh, my God.  Did we elect idiots or what?  This really is our fault.  We put these people in congress and look what they've done for us?  NOTHING!  Let's just wait until the last possible minute on New Year's Eve, but, you know what, I need to get a little beauty sleep, so why don't we meet back at, say, 11:00 am.  Okay? 
11:00am???? WHAT???  Hey, Congress...Yo, I really don't want to see less in my already meager paycheck and guess what, my husband's health insurance is changing and we now will have to pay a big deductible, which means I will put off going to the doctor now, because it'll cost me big bucks. 
In otherwords, OUCH! 
But, heck, you have a cushy job, nice salary, probably a most excellent health insurance plan, perhaps a company car to boot...but don't worry about us, the PEOPLE who elected you.  Nah, take your time, stick by that party line and relax, take it easy...anything to make Obama look bad would work.
Oh, this angers me that people can work like this, or not work like this. As Obama said, in any business this would not happen; people like this would get fired because there are plenty of people standing in line that could easily do their jobs. 
Why can't we let these people go; you're fired!
It's really truly unconsicionable what they are doing.  To not come together and do what is right and just, and is so simple, is well, disgusting and appalling.
Get a good night's sleep, men.  Rest up.  Enjoy your New Year's Eve brunch and dawdle in to work at 11:00am, while The American People, the people you work for sweat it out until an agreement is made.

Kick 2012 to Curb! I'm Done With You

Geesh! What a year. And I say that not in a good way. It’s been such a stressful year in numerous ways. I was watching the late morning Today show, which I never do, but was surprised hearing Kathie Lee Gifford remarking what a crappy year for so many people it had been and that a lot of people are looking forward to saying goodbye to 2012. I thought to myself, She, Kathie Lee? feels that way? Really? She has a good gig on TV, plenty of money that I was genuinely surprised that she remarked on that comment or even feels the strain the year has wrought to so many people. She explained that the Presidential race was stressful, the Storm, the latest events in the news, Newton, CT and almost everyone knows someone with cancer. Fool me. 


See? Money can’t buy you happiness and a stress free life. I, personally have been wrung out financially with me working in a private school that pays peanuts and my husband in the mortgage business that took a big hit this year thanks to the economy. Never in my life would I think I would have collection agencies dogging me for money! Never! It sucks.  I have always been in control of things, and feel totally out of control. 

I want to state one comment that I truly feel is true for most people.  The cost of living is way out of line with the average incomes out there.  It's like a bad mortgage deal where the debt to income ratio is out of whack.  We need to be earning three times the amount we do to pay our newfound, thank you technology bills.  And every car repair, or broken washing machine, or sudden pest problem, every problem that you encounter is hundreds or thousands of dollars.  God!  It's too much.  There isn't enough dollars.  This is a HUGE strain.

Then, I became the sandwich generation...caring for an elderly parent and my own children.
My father fell and broke his femur in two places, had surgery, triggered his Multiple Mylenoma to kick in big time and now has received Chemo for over a year now. Fear. Fear. Fear. Each step was riddled with fear and dread. Each and every step from the fall, to the surgery, to the transfusions pre-surgery, to post –op, through rehab, switching rehabs, 104 fever and cough during rehab….ugh…need I say more? Oh my God, what will we do when he comes home? How is he going to manage? Driving to chemo? On and on it went with worry and fear after fear.

Work stresses, home stresses, kids stresses, money, money, money…on and on it went.


So you know what I say to 2012? Adios to you! Good riddance! And Hello There, 2013! You look mighty fine, I must say. This might be the year, I’ll actually stay up and stick my head out the door and bang some pots and pans like a nutter at midnight!

Happy New Year!

Providence

I was thick into my work day inputing information in the computer when I CAME ACROSS A WORD, PROVIDENCE.  I STOPPED AND THOUGHT THIS WAS AN IMPORTANT WORD FOR ME.  I GOOGLED IT.  IT MEANT DIVINE GUIDANCE AND CARE.  I HAVE BEEN GETTING SIGNS ALL OVER  FROM BOKS FALLING OFF SHELVES, MY BIRTHDAY DATE SEEN OVER AND OVER...NOT TYPICAL.  FAITH IS ANOTHER WORD INSERTED INTO MY LIFE AS A NUDGE TO NOT DESPAIR.
capslock finally off. So I am attuned and feel like guidance from above is clobbering me over the head. Yoa! I,m here. Duh.   So it is with Providence I bid you good night

Faith and The Bells of St. Mary

I think a lot of people are feeling the wind sucked out of them as if Dementors have sucked out their very soul.  We trudge our souless, joyless bodies through the day feeling, well, buried with our woes.  I have discovered what is missing.  Faith.  Simply that.  If you have faith that you are where you are supposed to be, faith that things will get better, faith that there is meaning to our lives, faith in something greater than you, simply faith.  Hopeful versus hopelessness. 

People may think I'm crazy, but I told my husband that the word that I've been searching for is
Faith.  Even more crazy is Tim Tebow's tweet before Sunday's Jets game was: James 1: 2-5, which I looked up to be titled, Testing of Your Faith.  It basicly says, feel joy because your trials that you are going through make you stronger.  Being stronger in all things, especially faith is an awesome thing. 

I feel for Tim Tebow...he is being tested.  His good graces are being tested by sitting on the sidelines and not using his talents to its fullest.  Pacing like a boxed in stallion wanting to fly when all he can do is crawl.


He reminds me of Sister Mary Benedict in the movie, The Bells of St. Mary's (with Ingrid Bergman and Bing Crosby) where she is told she has to move to another school right after her prayers were answered and St. Mary's is going to be moved to a new beautiful building thanks to Mr. Bogartus.  She thinks, surely, this can't be right.  She finally has the school of her dreams, but she is told as nuns and priests must do, move on to whereever they are told.  She can't help but feel bitter and confused.  She kneels in the church before she departs, and with tears streaming down her face, she prays, "Dear Lord, please remove this bitterness from my heart." She then prays to please help her understand the Lord's plan.  Please help her understand.  She finally is ready to depart and starts walking away with the other sisters, still with a heavy heart filled with hurt and confusion yet steadfast in her duty as nun to do and go to where she is told.  Suddenly, Father O'Malley calls her back and then explains that it is due to her touch of Tuberculosis that she has to take it easy in a different climate and can come back when she is well.  Sister Benedict smiles so broadly and looks up and says, "Thank you.  Oh, Thank you."  When the tides turned so badly for her, she didn't know the greater plan.  They kept it from her for her "own good." But, in the end, she discovered the reason and knows...the hopelessness turned to hopefulness.  FAITH in the plan.