Providence

I was thick into my work day inputing information in the computer when I CAME ACROSS A WORD, PROVIDENCE.  I STOPPED AND THOUGHT THIS WAS AN IMPORTANT WORD FOR ME.  I GOOGLED IT.  IT MEANT DIVINE GUIDANCE AND CARE.  I HAVE BEEN GETTING SIGNS ALL OVER  FROM BOKS FALLING OFF SHELVES, MY BIRTHDAY DATE SEEN OVER AND OVER...NOT TYPICAL.  FAITH IS ANOTHER WORD INSERTED INTO MY LIFE AS A NUDGE TO NOT DESPAIR.
capslock finally off. So I am attuned and feel like guidance from above is clobbering me over the head. Yoa! I,m here. Duh.   So it is with Providence I bid you good night

Faith and The Bells of St. Mary

I think a lot of people are feeling the wind sucked out of them as if Dementors have sucked out their very soul.  We trudge our souless, joyless bodies through the day feeling, well, buried with our woes.  I have discovered what is missing.  Faith.  Simply that.  If you have faith that you are where you are supposed to be, faith that things will get better, faith that there is meaning to our lives, faith in something greater than you, simply faith.  Hopeful versus hopelessness. 

People may think I'm crazy, but I told my husband that the word that I've been searching for is
Faith.  Even more crazy is Tim Tebow's tweet before Sunday's Jets game was: James 1: 2-5, which I looked up to be titled, Testing of Your Faith.  It basicly says, feel joy because your trials that you are going through make you stronger.  Being stronger in all things, especially faith is an awesome thing. 

I feel for Tim Tebow...he is being tested.  His good graces are being tested by sitting on the sidelines and not using his talents to its fullest.  Pacing like a boxed in stallion wanting to fly when all he can do is crawl.


He reminds me of Sister Mary Benedict in the movie, The Bells of St. Mary's (with Ingrid Bergman and Bing Crosby) where she is told she has to move to another school right after her prayers were answered and St. Mary's is going to be moved to a new beautiful building thanks to Mr. Bogartus.  She thinks, surely, this can't be right.  She finally has the school of her dreams, but she is told as nuns and priests must do, move on to whereever they are told.  She can't help but feel bitter and confused.  She kneels in the church before she departs, and with tears streaming down her face, she prays, "Dear Lord, please remove this bitterness from my heart." She then prays to please help her understand the Lord's plan.  Please help her understand.  She finally is ready to depart and starts walking away with the other sisters, still with a heavy heart filled with hurt and confusion yet steadfast in her duty as nun to do and go to where she is told.  Suddenly, Father O'Malley calls her back and then explains that it is due to her touch of Tuberculosis that she has to take it easy in a different climate and can come back when she is well.  Sister Benedict smiles so broadly and looks up and says, "Thank you.  Oh, Thank you."  When the tides turned so badly for her, she didn't know the greater plan.  They kept it from her for her "own good." But, in the end, she discovered the reason and knows...the hopelessness turned to hopefulness.  FAITH in the plan.

Get Mad, Tim Tebow, Get Mad - Just Once, for me

I’m a little bit obsessed with the man that is Tim Tebow. I know a little and obsessed don’t go together, but he is a heck of a mystery to me and I’m trying to figure out what it is about him that lures me.

Is it his unshakable character?

Is it his spirituality and blind faith?

Is it his pure physical strength?

His charming smile?

Or, is it his invisible shield he puts up when the crowd boos, or veteran quarterbacks mercilessly criticize him (Boomer, Elway, Young, etc…) and how he doesn’t flinch, get mad, or complain? He faces his critics with poise, respect and a smile. Is it his blessedness?

I really don’t know. It could be all those things as all of the above are extraordinary for one individual to possess, almost inhuman. I see John Elway as the devil throwing Tim Tebow to the sharks to get eaten up by locker room dissent, Mark Sanchez who couldn’t possibly think another quarterback is a good thing, and with Coach Rex Ryan who thrives on the media spotlight, the attention, call him Broadway Rex. Yet, Tim Tebow is happy to be a Jet, happy to help any way he can and is having fun with Mark Sanchez and the boys of green.

Really?

The bummer is he wants to be a quarterback; it’s what he knows, it’s who he is. He craves being the leader of the pack, to motivate, energize and fire everyone up to greatness. What he did this past Sunday was absolutely not good football. Coach Rex Ryan had him bulk up to 250 lbs. so Tim Tebow can play any position. Why? What a waste. Commentators are saying stupid things like he has to stop doing the “Curls for the Girls.” It’s not his choice, dummies. Blame Rex for his new heft. (Besides, he always had those amazing biceps.) There is no way Tim Tebow is ever going to improve on being a quarterback with The Jets. The Jets have him as this extra little sideshow, doing not even noteworthy football. You’ll never see Tim Tebow throw a pass in this strange oddball setup. So, how will he ever improve his game and be the best quarterback he can be in the NFL world? He won’t with The Jets.

Tim Tebow keeps praying and keeps his bible verses motivating him, but at some point, I’d really like to see him say, “Come on, guys. I can do more than this. And this Wild Cat stuff isn’t really me.” Or, stomp his feet and say, “I WANT TO BE A REAL QUARTERBACK!”

But that’s not Tim Tebow, or could it be on the inside? Is this why he has to pray for strength to keep him going in a sea of green that is infested with sharks with absolutely no chance of being the quarterback and team leader that he wants to be?

(I’d ask to be traded, if I were him.)

I admire him because he deals with the cards he is given, and don’t forget he gets a nice paycheck to do whatever it is he is asked to do. His stoic faith gets him through. He laughs off things, too. Maybe he gets how crazy it all is, but the only one benefitting from the mayhem is Mark Sanchez, who I guess needed a little healthy competition to put some fire in his play.

We are blessed to know you, Tim Tebow. I can’t wait until you find a home where you can show John Elway what you really got!

Poppies in Blue - Fourth of July Art Burst

The Toe Shoe watercolor entry in my Art Journal

The well-worn toe shoe.  Why does it facinate me? It has a solid toe base, firm and strong, yet the body of the shoe is flexible and soft.  The mix of soft and hard, grace and strength, blood and beauty all thrown together in a stormy dance.

The talent and strength of being able to dance in toe shoes is fascinating to me.  I could never do it.  But to watch the dancers tap around on their toes takes enormous strength and skill along with lithe beauty.  It draws me and appeals to my inner senses.  Paint and words, color and black, beauty and fact...hmmm.

The Toe Shoe

Dega Inspired Ballerina using pastels and watercolor

The image of the ballerina is one of the most provacative forms and conjures up many emotions, from childhood fantasy, to fairy like dolls, flying dancers doing the impossible with their bodies and always the hypnotising story of the dance.

Long, languid, liquid, lines....
Twirling, swirling, flowing, emoting
beauty and strength

grace and steel

Bon Soir, Paris! Je t'aime....Midnight in Paris!

I was so happy to have a night out to escape in the darkness of the movie theatre.  My kids and their friends were upstairs watching their movie, txting me they all found seats and were settled for an exciting show for the night.  Ahhhh. Bliss.  I was here and they were there.  Even better my husband who was in Brooklyn all day for work was going to try to make the show.  I was six rows from the front and nudged my way past about seven seated people to find myself against the brick wall.  I was surprised to see so many people already seated for this movie.  I wasn't too excited by it as if it was a period piece that I like such as Pride and Prejudice.  The previews came and went and the movie began.  The seven people were suddenly disrupted again rising one at a time as my husband climbed over knees and joined me! I was so happy to see him missing all day, and his hands ran along my bared legs felt so warm.  He made it!

The movie began with images of Paris, every famous gorgeous historic location one after the other.  Oh my!  No wonder why so many people fall in love or propose or create masterpieces in Paris.  The Louvre, Arc de Triumph, the Seine, the Eiffel Tower, rows and rows of colorful shops, cafes and markets, cobbled streets, ...on and on...I was mesmerized and completely hooked.  I was sitting there smiling feeling such joy at what I was seeing in this movie. 

Much to my surprise, it was whimisical in time traveling to the 20's and the then the 1800's.  The audience got a glimpse of what it might have been like to meet Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Picasso, Gaugin, and Salvadore Dali! It was wonderful!  It made me want to paint, to write, to create and to dance and spin like in this picture...in the rain!  I felt bliss in this movie.  The main underlying plot was predictable but it was the fun and interesting journey along the way that swept you away in free abandoment even if it was improbable, crazy or ridiculous.  Why not?  This is Paris and Midnight in Paris was magical!  I'm in love and want to dance on the streets of Paris.