Well, Darling, You...Are...The Only Exception....Paramore

Surgery Done - Now I Have Painter's Block

I need art therapy, but I can't seem to paint.  I'm afraid to touch Sir William Rosemont with color.

It's been a while since I've last posted because I was going through a rather scary time in my life...I had a lump in my breast biopsied and resulted in my visiting with a breast surgeon.  The first breast surgeon was so awful; I don't even want to recount how inattentive, uncaring, harsh, rude, pessimistic and whatever negative term to describe a horrible doctor she was.  I, then, decided to get a second opinion.  I knew my outcome would be the same: surgery, but I wanted to be assured that one, I was in good hands and two that I liked my doctor.  With those two things, I could go into surgery with confidence.

I got through the torture of the consultation, but the doctor was so knowledgeable, so kind and re-assuring and it was in a place that dealt exclusively with this kind of thing giving me the confidence I needed to know I was in good hands.  The surgery was no minor thing...It ended up feeling all too real with the shower caps and face masks under bright lights with tubes up my nose. 

Well, it's done and I have a rather long scar; bigger than I thought it would be. I really didn't think I'd care about having a scar but funny, I do.  It isn't pretty and there is an indent like I can see where they removed a part of me.  But in the end...I'm not high risk; it was benign and I'm still a yearly mamo/sono patient. 

But here is the thing....I can't bring myself to paint my male regency rogue.  I'm afraid to touch it.  Once color is applied, there is no going back.  It looks cool as a sketch- at least, I think it does...but I can't seem to break out the paints and get going on it... Why?  I love the look in his eyes and if I mess that up, I'll be sooo upset.  His lips are perfect and adding color may make them look awful...and I need a background. Haven't found a background that I can plug in there behind him.  I really like this picture and it's all about the face and the expression....Lady Cecilia was dress, couch, and  small face....This picture is all about the face and that is the hardest thing to paint....maybe tomorrow?

Coming Soon...Delphinus Bloom and The Letter

Working on another sketch....Delphinius Bloom and The Letter....

It's a rather sweet sketch as of now, just in beginning phases of Phinny in her nightrail all gauzy and soft, her long brown braid tipped with honey glow draped over her shoulder propped up against pillows thinking about a letter in her hand.  Her night table drawer is open.  Leaves lots of questions...and her expression will leave you guessing as to her thoughts on the matter, but then only thing that is not in question is that the letter is important to Phinny.

Will take a picture soon!

Maybe I'll write a story to correspond with the picture.

p.s. This is all good art therapy for me as I have to have a lump removed from my left breast soon and I imagine it's not going to be pleasant.  As of yet, it is not cancer but could turn into it some day...something known as "Atypia"...my husband wishes it was "No-typia!"  Me, too!  So, between finances, work and health worries...the art is flowing, and so is my blog....It helps.  It really does.  And I am bursting with the need to draw and paint, so I am!  Peace!

p.s. Sir William Rosemont would be a good match for Lady Cecilia Whitworth. Don't you think?  Dashing couple they'd make!

Sir William Rosemont...the sketch

My first attempt at a male of the Regency Period...I was using the picture at left and combined another picture of a cravat and took it from there...kind of looks like James Infranco, the actor....ahh, but now, the tricky part....ADDING COLOR!  It's do or die time!  I have to work up the courage to add color, but if I get it right, this could be an intensely alluring picture.  What did he see?  Who did he see?  Did he overhear something?  Did he just misspoke and is regretting it?  He's walking one way but his head is still looking back.....hmmm....

The golden glow was the poor lighting in my dining room, but adds an antique quality to it.

Color coming soon!

Ahh...Pride and Prejudice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARWfCBr0ZDM&feature=related
I never tire of the movie, Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley and Matthew McFadden....it's priceless in every possible way. The scenery, the music, the location, the telling looks between characters, namely Lizzie and Mr. Darcy, and the whole cast of characters from the entire Bennett family, Mr. Collins, The Bingleys, and Charlotte, dearest beloved friend is a scrumptious feast to dive into. Once the movie starts playing, I’m there – 1800’s England, giggling, laughing, pining and crying. It's sensory appeal is phenomenal and the story is one that can be watched over and over and over again. I need a new DVD; mine is getting worn out.

Enjoy!

June 1st...sketching, writing, reading...The Wild Marquis/ Bibliophilia???

I love historical romances because they are so rich in texture and touches the senses so much that I feel I am walking into a musty library or attic and can feel the thick wrinkled leather of the old book bindings.  The Wild Marquis by Miranda Neville touches on another nobleman's past time, rare book collecting.  So fascinating and for book lovers like myself, I can't stop being intriqued by the varied nature of the works mentioned, some fictional, some real.  For being such a conservative british kingdom with the utmost strictness for decorom and deportment, they had an awful lot of ribauld and risque written works, and erotic illustrated works.  Perhaps because they were all laced up so tight and restricted with their thousand rules and more rules, they needed to let loose in secret with a forbidden fruit on paper.  I'm loving this book in all manners of the word, plot, characters, historical facts, it touches all of my senses; I'm completely immersed.  So, I'm going to go know and um, read my own forbidden fruit! Peace!

I Have Writer's Block...

I have been avoiding my computer.  I start cleaning, dusting, folding laundry, wandering outside....I have my notebook and jot a few ideas, but none of them seem to go anywhere...

I started typing this morning feeling that how am I ever going to get published if I don't type something?  I have a bunch..a lot of written stories, but I don't feel like going back and editing them.  I have a work in progress for a Regency story that I think will be too complicated and tricky with the historical accuracy, dates, events, etc...I haven't been able to go back to it and just start typing. I like to have my plot figured out in advance and I can't seem to get my mind focused enough to do it.  At Dunes and Dreams at Pindar I was so surprised that one author, Beatrice Small told me she nevers does that.  She just writes and let's the creative process flow... Wow.  I could try that and let the twists and turns happen as they may, but I can't seem to do it.

My head gets foggy.  I get tired...I know what it is...it's fear of failure.  It's fear of, what if I really can't do this? I really am not organized enough, and simply am not that good a writer.  So, here I am at my blog instead where it is safe and anything goes. Yeah. That's helpful.  That'll get me published and who the hell am I talking to anyway?  Is anyone listening?  Probably not.  This is more of a cathartic thing then anything.  I'm talking to myself.  Am I going crazy?  Writers block makes me crazy.

Well....it's a nice day, a light breeze blowing, and it looks extremely inviting out there.  Yup.  I am procrastinating some more.  I have been fighting probably the worst sinus infection/allergies of my life and it is draining me.  I feel extremely sleepy.   You know what? If the creative juices aren't flowing they aren't flowing.

Besides, Lady Cecelia is thinking, when the heck are you going to finish me???  Soon.  Lady C.  soon....

As U2 says, "I need a miracle drug."  Maybe a run will clear the cobwebs from my head and pump up some endorphines...Try again later.