When Life Tosses You Lemons, Sometimes You Need to Squeeze Them In Someone's Eyes! What?!

Ouch! Well, sometimes you get tired of making lemonade.  You know?  Sometimes it's okay to have a bad day.  It's okay not to suck it up, man up and deal with it.  Sometimes it is perfectly okay to get angry and let it out by making a silly "meme."  I am not really going to squeeze a lemon into someone's eyes, but man, there are times, when I am being tested where insanity reigns and I don't feel so nice.  Thus, see above.

The point here is: It is okay to feel angry.  Let it out somehow and someway.  You can't keep denying how you feel. You can't keep squashing it down. We all know the saying, "This too shall pass.  It could be worse.  Make the best of it."  That is all true, but sometimes we get pushed to our limit of tolerance of toxicity and it is not okay.  As long as you deal with your anger or frustration in a healthy and harmless way. 

Acknowledge it.

"Ahhhhhhhh. I'm angry.  Take that!"  Squeeze. Squeeze.  (In my mind...)

Go for a run, play a song, doodle or scribble hard in red and black and/or  create a Meme.  It actually made me laugh out loud.  I thought I was so clever.

Hey, well, I thought it was kind of funny.  See?  Anger diminished.

I'm not a mean person.  I promise! :)

Huh. Funny, I could go for a lemonade now.

Peace!

Phineas Bloom and The Letter Comes To Life

My husband looked at this painting and immediately asked, "What is in the letter? She doesn't look happy."  He said, "It must be from a guy and it's not good news."  I told him the beauty of this painting is it means whatever the viewer wants it to mean.  Is it good news? Is it bad news? Is it worrisome news?  Is it news that requires a decision?  I love art that makes you wonder and play with your imagination, and of course, I love this period.  She is kind of like a "Lizzie Bennett, or a Jane Austen....or even a Cassandra Austen."  But in my world, she is Phinny, Phineas Bloom and her letter is The Story, one I shall write and see where it takes me.  Again, it's a bit out of perspective, to which I fully acknowledge, and am in agreement that I am in desperate need of lessons.  But you know what?  I love this painting because it is beautiful to me.  Beautiful in color, lighting, subject matter....and I love her night gown, or rather, night rail, why they called it that, I'll have to check.  Anyway, here it is in full "Bloom."  Enjoy! 

Whatever shall I paint next??? Hmmmmmm... Meanwhile reading a wonderful novel by Eloisa James, "When Beauty Tamed The Beast." Incredibly written, and the verbage of the main character is so distinctly biting; I am always amazed that so many personalities can be stored in one head, the mind of an author! Elizabeth Boyle's "Mad About The Duke" was a quick read, too...loved it!

Can't Shop? Create Instead!

I spent my Thanksgiving vacation painting, writing and playing tennis (yes! in the cold wind...it was awesome.)  I attacked with the paintbrush my Delphinus Bloom sketch, which I am sorry to say I didn't photograph as purely a sketch...but it is coming to life slowly.  I do it in steps...always the person, last.  That's the part I want to get perfectly right.  I've been writing a story of regarding my other two paintings, Lady Cecilia and the troubled, scandalized Lord Rosemont.  You know they were meant to be, but how they meet isn't exactly pretty and it isn't isn't sparks and fireworks.  But it will be, oh, you know it will be.

Do you think the creative rush is in replacement of my inability to go Christmas shopping due to severe lack of funds?  Boy, did I feel the pull of pressure from television, ads that were jammed in my newspaper, radio announcers and even relatives on Thanksgiving Day going through my flyers of advertising planning their 4 am attack on Black Friday.  I have no money to spare at this time, with health bills piling up, etc...and I started to feel...guilty.  Jealous.   I was missing out on something.  Ridiculous.  But I did feel it.

I did what I could do.  Paint. Write and had a ball playing tennis with my family.  We all felt so invigorated and refreshed.  Creating something and watching it turn into something that is appealing, alluring, and attractive with colors that make you smile is a reward you can't buy.  Well, you can buy paintings, but to create something yourself is a fantastic feeling...same for writing...putting characters and twisting plots to life transferring from your brain to paper is an amazing feat.  It didn't exist before, the people, the characters, the places, their stories, and then type away. Voila! There it is!  A story.

It was definitely stress relieving...creating in any way, even body movement is a release.  Emotion...means to feel... up and out.....emotions must run through us and out into the universe, otherwise we get blocked and feel awful.

I think I better get painting after I'm done writing here.  I have some "stuff" that needs to get out!!!

Peace.

Surgery Done - Now I Have Painter's Block

I need art therapy, but I can't seem to paint.  I'm afraid to touch Sir William Rosemont with color.

It's been a while since I've last posted because I was going through a rather scary time in my life...I had a lump in my breast biopsied and resulted in my visiting with a breast surgeon.  The first breast surgeon was so awful; I don't even want to recount how inattentive, uncaring, harsh, rude, pessimistic and whatever negative term to describe a horrible doctor she was.  I, then, decided to get a second opinion.  I knew my outcome would be the same: surgery, but I wanted to be assured that one, I was in good hands and two that I liked my doctor.  With those two things, I could go into surgery with confidence.

I got through the torture of the consultation, but the doctor was so knowledgeable, so kind and re-assuring and it was in a place that dealt exclusively with this kind of thing giving me the confidence I needed to know I was in good hands.  The surgery was no minor thing...It ended up feeling all too real with the shower caps and face masks under bright lights with tubes up my nose. 

Well, it's done and I have a rather long scar; bigger than I thought it would be. I really didn't think I'd care about having a scar but funny, I do.  It isn't pretty and there is an indent like I can see where they removed a part of me.  But in the end...I'm not high risk; it was benign and I'm still a yearly mamo/sono patient. 

But here is the thing....I can't bring myself to paint my male regency rogue.  I'm afraid to touch it.  Once color is applied, there is no going back.  It looks cool as a sketch- at least, I think it does...but I can't seem to break out the paints and get going on it... Why?  I love the look in his eyes and if I mess that up, I'll be sooo upset.  His lips are perfect and adding color may make them look awful...and I need a background. Haven't found a background that I can plug in there behind him.  I really like this picture and it's all about the face and the expression....Lady Cecilia was dress, couch, and  small face....This picture is all about the face and that is the hardest thing to paint....maybe tomorrow?

Sir William Rosemont...the sketch

My first attempt at a male of the Regency Period...I was using the picture at left and combined another picture of a cravat and took it from there...kind of looks like James Infranco, the actor....ahh, but now, the tricky part....ADDING COLOR!  It's do or die time!  I have to work up the courage to add color, but if I get it right, this could be an intensely alluring picture.  What did he see?  Who did he see?  Did he overhear something?  Did he just misspoke and is regretting it?  He's walking one way but his head is still looking back.....hmmm....

The golden glow was the poor lighting in my dining room, but adds an antique quality to it.

Color coming soon!

So…Was Getting Hit By The Church Basket Good Luck After All? Was It A Sign?

Hard to say, …YET. I did get an article published in MORE magazine’s website. I did meet some fabulous authors at a Book Signing at Pindar over the weekend. And I perhaps, crossed paths with an angel with a scary last name (kind of ironic, actually) that could lead me to new opportunities.


So, maybe that lump on my noggin’ was worth something after all. Things aren’t moving for me as fast I’d like, and I still feel the need to paint and write to release some pent up emotions. That is actually normal and healthy as opposed to locking it inside and letting it damn up until I explode on somebody in a PMS volcanic eruption. That has happened and it is not pretty. My co-worker never knew the meaning of the word PMS until she met me. When I breeze into the office and announce that my period arrived last night, she actually falls back against her chair and sighs in relief like she had just run the marathon or something. What? “Oh, thank God. I made it through this month.” Geez. Am I that bad? Well, yeah, I can be. I think right now I’m PMS’ing and she poured me some tea…come to think of it. She looks like a nervous rabbit and is kind of tip-toeing around me. I’m cranky, yes. I’m tire, yes. Oh, crap. I am PMS’ing.

I digress. Back to the church basket. I guess, if I want to see major good luck or a sign from above instantly, I suppose, I needed to be clonked on the head unconscious. Patience, my dear. Patience. Something of which, I sorely lack. I want it NOW! (PMS talking.) When the tears arrive, it’ll be over soon. P.s. I don’t really recommend sticking your head up for your own collision when the usher comes by with the church basket. Dog doo never worked either.

Art Therapy Birthed "Lady Cecelia"

I used Art Therapy on myself. I couldn’t shake the fog out of my head, feeling lethargic, listless and a bit rather hopeless. I want to do things at this point of my life and sometimes, I feel it is as though it is too late. I know I read many articles and personal stories of it is never too late, but at times, it gets the best of me of me and I feel it is too late for me. So…”Lady Cecilia” has been haunting me, begging me to add color to her. You can see my sketch on the sidebar. I’ve been scared to. Sketching is one thing, but adding color is do or die time. Once color is applied that is it; there is no going back. And, faces! I hate painting faces! I can sketch them to some degree, rather decently, but adding color is when I screw it up. But, I must say…I’m loving this painting…I held my breath and went for it. Played with color, one dab at a time and fearlessly painted. The vivid red and the cobalt blue are vibrant and happy, yet her expression is extremely pensive and is the teasing storyline I like. Is she waiting for someone? Is she regretting a decision she made? Is she mulling over a decision? It’s up to the viewer. The background is soothing with its colors of mustard, light blue and pink. Put it all together and this pictures speaks to me, pulls me in. What do you think? p.s. It’s not finished, nearly there….need to do pillow, necklace and gloves.