Surgery Done - Now I Have Painter's Block

I need art therapy, but I can't seem to paint.  I'm afraid to touch Sir William Rosemont with color.

It's been a while since I've last posted because I was going through a rather scary time in my life...I had a lump in my breast biopsied and resulted in my visiting with a breast surgeon.  The first breast surgeon was so awful; I don't even want to recount how inattentive, uncaring, harsh, rude, pessimistic and whatever negative term to describe a horrible doctor she was.  I, then, decided to get a second opinion.  I knew my outcome would be the same: surgery, but I wanted to be assured that one, I was in good hands and two that I liked my doctor.  With those two things, I could go into surgery with confidence.

I got through the torture of the consultation, but the doctor was so knowledgeable, so kind and re-assuring and it was in a place that dealt exclusively with this kind of thing giving me the confidence I needed to know I was in good hands.  The surgery was no minor thing...It ended up feeling all too real with the shower caps and face masks under bright lights with tubes up my nose. 

Well, it's done and I have a rather long scar; bigger than I thought it would be. I really didn't think I'd care about having a scar but funny, I do.  It isn't pretty and there is an indent like I can see where they removed a part of me.  But in the end...I'm not high risk; it was benign and I'm still a yearly mamo/sono patient. 

But here is the thing....I can't bring myself to paint my male regency rogue.  I'm afraid to touch it.  Once color is applied, there is no going back.  It looks cool as a sketch- at least, I think it does...but I can't seem to break out the paints and get going on it... Why?  I love the look in his eyes and if I mess that up, I'll be sooo upset.  His lips are perfect and adding color may make them look awful...and I need a background. Haven't found a background that I can plug in there behind him.  I really like this picture and it's all about the face and the expression....Lady Cecilia was dress, couch, and  small face....This picture is all about the face and that is the hardest thing to paint....maybe tomorrow?